Say It Again
by Beth - Geek Chick
Summary: Set between Seasons 4 and 5, Leonard reacts badly after thinking Penny slept with Raj. Oneshot.


**A/N Set between Seasons 4 and 5.**

Leonard stayed glued to the couch, stunned and heartbroken, as the others in the apartment moved around him. Penny left without saying a word.

Sheldon lit in on Raj that he'd broken a rule of their newly signed roommate agreement regarding letting people stay over. Raj turned to Leonard, who only stared at him with a mix of disbelief and hatred in his eyes. Having no one else to back him up, Raj stormed out, muttering a mix of English and Hindi that no one understood.

Sheldon then turned to Leonard, but Leonard did not want to hear it. He got up and went to his room. He stopped two steps in. With energy he never thought he had, he ripped the rumpled blanket, sheets, pillows, everything, from his bed and wrapped them in a ball. Before he left, he opened the window to clear out the air.

His first stop would be the laundry room. He couldn't believe that Raj didn't even bother to bring his own sheets and blanket. Even more so, he couldn't believe Raj would have sex on them. With Penny! His Penny! He shook his head. He knew she broke up with him, but isn't that the number one bro rule? Don't sleep with friends' exes? He wasn't too sure, 'cause this had never happened to them before, but it sounded logical.

Arms full of the bedding, he stalked out of the apartment, pausing only for his keys and messenger bag. Once this task was out of the way, he planned on going to the university and working. It seemed the only thing he still had control of in his lfie, and he planned on immersing himself in it for the near future.

He only halfway heard Sheldon saying something to him, but he didn't care. At that moment, Leonard cared very little about anything. This apathy grew down the four flights of stairs.

In fact, when he was passing through the lobby, he stopped before the door to the laundry room. The refuse chute stood in front of him, and he yanked it open. With determination, he stuffed the sheets in. They went in easily enough. The blanket, however, caused him trouble.

The logical side of his brain knew the dimensions of the balled up thick comforter exceeded the hole he was trying to stuff it in, but his heart only wanted them gone, out of his sight, and out of his life.

He struggled for a good five minutes before giving up. His energy expended, he dropped to the ground. He pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them as his back leaned against the wall. He dropped his head into the cradle of his forearms, and with one final exhale, let the tears fall.

* * *

Penny literally ran to her apartment, slamming and locking the door, as if that would keep away all the bad feelings in the apartment across the hall. God, she thought, the look on Leonard's face. She'd felt regret for months now for letting him go. But he'd seemed happy now with Priya. Though it cut her to the bone, she'd accepted the fact that she'd lost him forever.

She could barely remember what happened last night with Raj. It meant nothing, and she was prepared to put it behind her, hoping that Raj would do the same. But no, Leonard was there. He knew. He looked as he did when she first dumped him, and once again, she knew she broke his heart.

The pain went straight through her. Without thinking, without seeing, she walked into her bathroom and stripped off her clothes, tossing them into her already overflowing laundry basket. She quickly showered, tossing the damp towel afterward onto the pile of laundry.

She pulled on the last of her clean clothes – shorts and a tee – and pulled on her Uggs. Picking up her laundry basket, she headed outside and down the stairs to the laundry room. She'd use the hour or two it would take to wash, spin and dry to figure out how to fix the mess she's found herself in.

She made it down the stairs without seeing anyone. So far, so good, she thought. And then she turned the corner and froze.

The first thing she saw was a familiar bright blue blanket hanging out of the refuse chute. Then her eyes dropped down to see Leonard huddled on the floor. It became painfully obvious what he was trying to do. Setting the basket down, she walked over to him.

He didn't move, didn't acknowledge her presence. So she decided to tackle the blanket first. It took a couple of tugs to get it back out of the refuse chute, but once free, she fed it through little by little until the bright blue fabric disappeared into the blackness, and the door banged shut.

Turning, she slid down the wall next to Leonard. Her own pain and upset slid to the side at the sight of him. He never moved, but she knew he was aware of her. She wanted to touch him, but didn't know if he'd accept her embrace. And she couldn't bear him pushing her away. One thing she could do was talk to him. So she did.

"I'm sorry."

* * *

He'd known who it was without raising his head when she turned the corner to the hallway he sat in. He refused to raise his head and see her, though. He couldn't let her see him cry. He hoped she would just walk by, but she didn't. He heard her fix the blanket, heard the door slam shut, and then she sat next to him.

Just her closeness and her scent – she must have just had a shower. He could smell the light floral fragrance of her body wash. God, he missed her, he thought. He knew his love for her never changed. Even when he was with Priya, a small part of him wished it were Penny he was holding. He would never stop loving her.

So when she did speak, it lifted the guilt that'd been weighing him down. The guilt for pushing too hard when they were together, taking her for granted, letting her get away from him, even getting involved with Priya.

"_I'm sorry."_

He raised his tear-stained face to look at her. "You have nothing to be sorry for."

Penny chuckled, "You may be a genius, Leonard, but you're wrong."

When he went to speak again, she shushed him, holding up a hand. "I'm sorry, Leonard, for allowing my own stupid fears and stupidity to get in the middle of us. I should have trusted it, trusted in you, trusted in us. But I didn't. I don't know why."

Penny closed her eyes and took a breath. This wasn't going as well as she hoped. She had this moment figured out in her head. But now that her intended audience was in front of her, she was choking. If only she had the script in front of her, she could get through this.

"Penny, you don't have to do this," Leonard said with a sigh. He'd heard all this before, all the reasons why she broke up with him, why she couldn't be more than a friend to her now. He wasn't sure why she was bringing it up now, but he did know that he didn't want to hear it.

"Yes, I do!" Penny cried. And just then, when their eyes met, and he showed just a glimpse, just a glimmer of the adoration he used to show her every minute of the day just months ago, what she wanted to say came to her.

"Leonard, I love you. I can't say I always have, because I didn't even think of you as anything but a friend for a while. But it was when you were leaving to go to the North Pole that it finally dawned on me that I loved you. And then you left, and I was stuck here alone for three months. I couldn't wait for you to come back, and when you did – well, you know what happened. And it was wonderful. And beautiful. And then –"

"Penny, stop," Leonard said, reaching out to touch her cheek. His touch was hesitant, as he thought if he moved too fast, he'd wake up from the dream he'd been having for a year of Penny turning to him and saying she loved him back.

God, she missed his touch, Penny thought as his fingers ghosted over her face. Her eyes fluttered shut, and her head leaned closer to him, closer to his touch. When it threatened to move away, she reached her own hand up to it, grasping his fingers in hers and placing his palm against her cheek.

"Please tell me it's not too late, Leonard. But if it is, just say it quick, like pulling off a Band-Aid. It'll hurt like hell, but it'll be over."

"Why would I ever want to hurt you?" Leonard whispered.

At first, Penny groaned. She wanted him to answer her question, not ask one of his own. But then the meaning of his words sunk in. He had answered her. He was telling her it wasn't too late. Did that mean – she slowly opened her eyes, not wanting to see the look on his face, but needing to see it, just the same.

And there it was, the look. Leonard's eyes shone with the same love and adoration she'd taken for granted all that time, then missed like hell when it was gone. "Leonard?"

He nodded, and Penny launched herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck. Their positions on the floor didn't allow for a full-on embrace, but she didn't care. Leonard still loved her. He still wanted her. Despite her stupidity and naivete and past mistakes, he still wanted her.

She buried her head into his shoulder and shuddered as he did the same, his breath ghosting along her skin. And then he spoke.

"Say it again?"

"I love you, Leonard."

**THE END**


End file.
